"Hand of the Black Rose"
Oh wow, a black rose, the universal symbol of the weeping emo kid. I've seen no fewer than six people with 'Black Rose'
somewhere in their title. I have to wonder if this person is supposed to be attached to one or more of them, or if they just
want people to think they're gothy and mysterious.
"Her movements quick and rushed, she strides along with her eyes gazed downcast, seemingly lost in
"Strands of her purple hair flutter before her eyes, with a black feather, coated with a soft iridescant[sic] green
sits behind her right ear."
First off, try a basic spelling and grammar check. It ruins the emo mood when I have to re-read something three times
to figure out what the hell you're trying to say. If you're going to wax poetic about "fluttering strands of hair",
try to at least get the sentence structure right. And since hair color is a choice you can make at character creation,
this is entirely pointless. The RSP description is supposed to be for significant things that aren't shown on the
character model. The fact that you have a feather stuck behind your ear, for example, is not significant.
"Her features are very bare, no makeup or jewelry adorn her face at all. The clothing on her limbs bellows
in the breeze of her movement."
Again, the fact that you don't have something that your character model doesn't show is superfluous. As is the fact
that your clothing moves when you walk. Something about favoring loose clothing might be acceptable, but
"bellowing in the breeze" is pushing it. That sounds like your shirt puffs up like a parachute with every step.
"Her form, while frail, is toned well enough to show that she can hold her own."
Contradictory Bullshit Count: 1. You cannot be both frail and toned. I guess they wanted to give people the impression
that they're a thin, sexy, and helpless rape victim waiting to happen, while at the same time remaining a tough and
"A strange symbol is etched in her armor, replacing the symbol of Elune, on her right shoulder is a hand
clenching a black rose, blood dripping down the stem, an unheard of icon."
Contradictory Bullshit Count: 2. If something is "etched", it can't have color. Etching is the removal of
material to create lines. A black rose is neither a "strange symbol" nor an "unheard of icon".
Thorny, bleeding roses are a staple of tattoo shops that cater to punks and goths the world over.
"Her eyes shimmer with an otherworldly glow, as if she was touched by a higher being in some way,
unblinking and sometimes gazing off at nothing, yet seeing what others cannot."
Of course her eyes glow; every night elf has glowing eyes. This is displayed on the character model, and doesn't
belong in an RSP description. As for "touched by a higher being", see "rape victim waiting to
happen" above. Note that she doesn't mention what kind of higher being used to touch her. Typically people
go to great pains to describe the tentacle-laden son of Sargaeras that molested them in their childhood. I guess we
should thank our lucky stars we were spared that this time.
Stereotypical Emo Loser: 4
Contradictory Bullshit: 2
Redundant Description: 2
Waxing Poetic: 9
Score: "Maybe the girl that works at Hot Topic will finally notice me..."