roudly fighting the War on Emo!

Lady Sarenal Malicestraz
The Dark Lady
Wyrmrest Accord Server

I have three problems with this person right off the bat:

First, there is only one Dark Lady on Azeroth. Are you really comparing yourself to Sylvanas Windrunner, the only person ever to take on the Lich King, break away from his control, and set up her own empire in less than a year?

Second, "Malice"-straz? Is that honestly your best attempt at sounding dangerous, or did you just attend the George Lucas School of Character Naming?

Third, '-straz' is the suffix appended to the name of a male red dragon. Calling yourself "Lady Straz" tells people that one of the following three statements is true:

1: You are either too young or too stupid to realize the differences between genders.
2: Your character is a mutant hermaphrodite.
3: You have never bothered to read any of the Warcraft lore and are comfortable with presenting yourself as an ignorant dolt.

For the purposes of this article (not to mention my sanity), I'm going to assume that the explanation is #3. I don't think anyone wants to consider the possibility of someone running around playing a doubly-genitaled dragon lord.

Theme Song: Disturbia by Rihanna

While I loathe this convention of tacking on popular emo songs to character descriptions in a blatant attempt to show how "hip" the player is, at least most people have the common courtesy to wait until the end to slip it in. But that's not enough for this person! No, this person has decided to put that baby right up there on the top as a warning sign to the rest of us saying "My top priority is referencing horrible music. Anything relating to my character is less important than that."

"Cowards die in shame"

Maybe if the writers of horrible Mary Sue characters felt the proper shame over what they're doing, there wouldn't be quite so many of them.

Sarenal Malicestraz Dawnrunner
Age: 10, 126 (Rewroten due to the time being off, previous year was 10,015 which placed her birth after the War of the Ancients when she was there to experience it.)

Translation: "I read Knaak's War of the Ancients trilogy and decided to write myself into the story. Then someone pointed out that I failed math class so it had to be 'rewroten' so I'd just fail English instead."

Race: Kel'dorei (Long confusing story..)

Not content to play a human warlock pretending to be an elf of some kind, Sarenal decided that making up her own special race was the way to go. Of course, she won't explain it because she used up what little creativity she had coming up with the name.

Eye Color: Greyish blue

Greyish Blue: Because special snowflakes should never settle for just one color.

Hair Color: Grey (IC her hair is grey, though it is black)

Grey hair, of course, is the quickest substitute for maturity. None of these teenage suethors have the experience or imagination to portray a character who's seen ten millennia of life, but they think nobody will notice if they tack on a few zeros at the end like they do with daddy's "buy my love" checks.

Weight: 97
Height: 5'9

Some free advice: when choosing a body template to represent your character, it's best to avoid any model with "#2 Ticonderoga" tattooed down the side.

Personality: Sarenal has abit of a haughty attitude, thinking she is above everyoelse.

All the social outcasts and misfits that make up Blizzard's collective fanbase seem to think that talking trash behind an anonymous avatar makes them cool. Cram them all into one server, and it's like a slumber party where everyone thinks they're the head cheerleader.

Home: Sarenal believe this world is actually parallel to the one she comes from. (So none atm)

What good is being a special snowflake if no one's paying attention to you? Sarenal has chosen the "escaped mental patient" method, wandering the streets of Stormwind City, screaming "None of you are real! You live in a parallel dimension!" at random passers-by.

Which she gets away with online because there's no one to show up with a straight jacket.

Status: Arch Warlock of Stormwind, daughter of Dathremar Rivdael Dawnrunner, sister of Azcadilia Dawnrunner, former Battle Mage.

Arch Warlock of Stormwind? Oh is that all? And I assume that title was bestowed upon you by King Wrynn himself after the sudden realization that demon-attracting dark fel magic was actually a good thing?

Sorry, hon. There's not enough hair gel in the world to rot Old King Dragonball's brain that badly. But feel free to keep walking around the city declaring your open use of demonic magic. I'm sure that with all the churches and zealots in the area there will be someone to answer your desperate cry for attention.

Affiliation: Argent Crusade (WotLK organization), Knights of the Ebon Blade (WotLK Organization), Wyrmrest Accord (WotLK Organization), and the Argent Dawn, loyal servent to the Bronze Dragonflight and the Red Dragonflight.

My my, but our little Arch Warlock does get around, doesn't she? That, or she just read down her WotLK Reputation Window and started copying names down like she was ripping escorts from Arthas's little black book.

And just because you misspell "servant" doesn't mean you can have two masters. It seems to me that dragons, being known primarily for their possessive and violent natures, would not take too kindly to one of their puny human minions trying to double-dip in the Color-Coded Big Lizard Bowl. Especially when these two flights of dragons have such different and often opposing agendas, even the self-styled "Arch Warlock" would end up as little more than a greasy stain on the floor of some cave for crossing either of them.

Disguises and Outfits: With Sarenal's dark magic she can change her appearence at her own creed.

It's not surprising that the person behind Sarenal wouldn't know what a 'creed' is. After all, people who have creeds believe things like "it's wrong to steal from people", "being a shameless attention whore is a bad thing", and "it would be polite to stay awake in English class."

Self-Styled Arch Whatever: 1
Lore Rape: 3
Nonexistent Race: 1
Nonexistent Homeland: 1
Nonexistent Writing Talent: 1
Spelling Allergy: 12
Thesaurus Abuse: 7
Unwarranted Self-Importance: 25
Blatant, Shameless, Unapologetic Mary Sue: 1

Score: Theme Song: Hand In My Pocket (Mary Sue Version) by Alanis Morrisette

I'm plain but I'm pretty
I'm mean but I'm kind
I'm a girl but I kick butt, yeah
I'm scarred but I'm perfect
I'm thin but my tits are huge
I'm shy but I'm flirty baby
What it all comes down to
Is that everything's all about me me me
'cause my head's wedged in my rectum
And I'm living a Suethor's fantasy.

Diary of a Planeswalker is a fantasy comic created and owned by Anya Talisan and Jacob Matthew,
based in the worlds of Norrath and Azeroth, and copyright their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.
This site is created, owned, and updated by Anya Talisan.
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