roudly fighting the War on Emo!

Nakia Maraangel Atheling
Ice mistress
Cenarion Circle Server

Former mistress of Northrend,

Mistress of Northrend, eh? Well that's a pretty lofty title there. I suppose we should all be thankful she didn't just style herself Queen of something.

This sort of thing happened when the Burning Crusade expansion was about to release as well. Something new comes out and every little fanboy has to latch onto the new lore like a tick on a dog's ass and rewrite everything about their character so they're important to the new storylines. Then they go parading through the towns to show off the new descriptions like they're poorly-made sandwich boards because it's just the most original and creative thing ever and nobody else could possibly conceive of it!!

I guess it was better during the last expansion. At least then we had two new races that (sort of) fit within the new storylines, so it was easy to make a new character that fit with the new lore. This time around all we get is a new class. Just one, and we have to share it with the other faction too. It's also supposed to be an "evil" class, so everyone and their brother is taking this as license to play out S&M scenes over FlagRSP.

In the months before the expansion, WoW will become little more than an internet fan fiction site. Except with less-dynamic characters, more poorly-constructed plots, and not quite so much proper use of the English language.

And if that doesn't scare you... you have no soul.

Brown hair that falls perfectly in place, she is very well known.

I'm not quite sure how one is supposed to relate to the other. See, typically in sentences the ideas all sort of link together. That's part of what makes it a sentence, bounded on one side by a period and a capital letter on the other. Unless she's trying to tell us that the hair is very well known and the character personifies it by calling it 'she'.

Glancing down at the rest of the description, however, tells a different story. It's okay, my poor friend comma. Did the bad lady hurt you? Did she use you in improper ways? Well don't you worry. We'll go get you some ice cream and then you can tell the nice police officer everything the bad lady did to you.

Very advanced in the powers of the water element.

Well, that's got to make adventuring fun. It's not like they get spells like Water Bolt or Geyser, so the only mage spell she'd have access to would be the Water Elemental talent. But I doubt even she would be so lame as to only ever use one spell that's on a three-minute cooldown...

Vanished into thin air one day only to resurface a most powerful being after the frozen shrone had been shattered, but noone questioned this mysterious reappearance,

More likely nobody really gave a shit.

whispers have been spoken of her being a spy for King arthas, but none really know who she is,

How did she go from "she is very well known" to "none really know who she is"? This is probably just an attempt to be both the most popular girl in school while remaining dark and mysterious. I guess she doesn't realize that the belle of the ball is rarely the emo girl standing in the shadowy corner while everyone else dances.

where she came from, the rumors circulate the air, she looks normal, shes pretty, however she recoginizes things that most do not.

Of course, just because she's the dark and mysterious one with oh-so-many secrets doesn't mean you can have any. She'll stare into your soul and recoginize all your secrets. This is a trend you'll find among similar people in all genres of roleplaying, especially the ones where no dice are involved to tell you that you can't do something. The telepath who automatically knows everything you're hiding, the garou who stops to smell your true form every three seconds, and now the Scourge spy who sees the tiniest detail.

It's just a way for the player to control everyone else. It's probably the most basic form of godmoding there is. Think of it like a gateway drug. First you're getting high off of everyone's secrets and before you know it you're running around Stormwind telling people that you've just picked their pockets and killed them outright in a single blow.

She has been trained in arenas to be a champion.

An arena champion? So we've gone from "very well known" to "none really know who she is" and now we're back to famous again? Perhaps this person only understands "arenas" in the context of Warcraft PvP, where the champions are faceless geeks with too much time on their hands that people couldn't care less about, instead of the classic idea of people fighting to the cheering of thousands of spectators.

Very quiet, many do not hear her voice often,

A handy excuse to stay off the voice chat so "she" doesn't give anything away.

slender, pale, her only true friend is her water elemental (some say was a gift from King arthas, but none really know the truth).

Wow, these rumors seem pretty persistent. She must be a terrible spy. If you were really a spy, and you were aware of these sorts of rumors being freely traded amongst the populace, it should signal one of two things. Either the guards are about to bring you in for an interrogation session that involves hot pokers or you're such an oblivious sucker that they're setting someone more important than you up for a huge fall.

I think too many people are caught up in the James Bond fantasy of spy work. The run-and-gun, save the day, bang the chick when it's done fantasy. They don't seem to be able to wrap their heads around concepts like once the people you're spying on get an idea of who you are and who you work for, either they kill you or your boss does.

This is a medieval fantasy world. The Scourge isn't a secret faction; they've been out in the open for years now. Even the slightest whisper of "scourge spy" or "demon cultist" would be enough to see you dangling at the end of a rope.

Approximately 5'9, Very gorgeous in her own way, but piss her off and meet the wrath of the one element she controls.

Yet another "I'm super beautiful but I'm still really powerful so don't mess with me" line. It's comforting to know that no matter how the lore changes, some clichés stay the same. Comforting in that, you know, nauseating kind of way.

A book is in her possession at all times, yet its mysterious blue color leaves people to wonder what's in teh book, when questioned she just smiles and go about her merry way.

I've seen books of all colors, even blue. Blue's not exactly what you would call a mysterious color. I've even seen people carrying blue books around with them. Not once have I been tempted to walk up to someone and ask "What's in teh book?" Though from reading this description and noting the author's tenuous grasp of the language, I'd have to say that it's probably a picture book.

Violet eyes that are hypnotic when you stare into them you become hypnotized by her beauty.

I have yet to decide which brand of godmoder is the worst: the mind control fantasy godmoder or the I-kill-you-instantly-with-a-thought godmoder. Perhaps they're two different Hero Classes of loser, after they've spent some time in Goldshire leveling up a bit. An instant-kill godmoder is what you get after the player can start counting the total time their head has spent in a high school bathroom toilet in days rather than hours. The mind control fantasy comes from the people who have to sneak up on their hand in order to get any.

I actually once witnessed a battle between the two while running through Goldshire one day. It wasn't a pretty sight. You'd think that these sorts of people would tend to congregate and band together, but no, it turns out they're natural enemies. They were going back and forth with the "I kill you with my sword" then "Nuh-uh, I mind control you first" shtick the whole time I was running through town, and were still at it when I came back to turn in quests an hour later.

I'd try to pitch the "Godmoders: Natural Enemies" bit to Discovery Wildlife, but it would probably just play out like a bad three-hour "Who's on First?" routine.

This young and beautiful ice mistress will never reveal who she truly is for she believes the real mystery is finding out the truth

Sounds like the rumor mill has this "mystery" pretty well figured out already. Perhaps the lady should concern herself less with trying to seem dark and mysterious so people will pay attention to her and instead worry about who's going to take care of her first: zealots of the Holy Light... or her replacement.

Capitalization Abuse: 13
Comma Abuse: 19
Abusing the English Language: 30
Mind Control Fantasy: 2
Contradictory Bullshit: 7
Spelling Allergy: 29
Attentionwhoring: 10
Godmoding: 15

Score: "You mean if I join the Scarlet Crusade I can kill as many mysterious Scourge spies as I want *and* you'll send me to college? Where do I sign?"

Diary of a Planeswalker is a fantasy comic created and owned by Anya Talisan and Jacob Matthew,
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