"[Her] expression is usually withdrawn, and her gaze is often turned inward, thoughtful and painfilled. Her eyes flick around constantly, seemingly searching for something, or someone. Her white hair is smoothly brushed, flowing down her back in gentle waves."

Her inward gaze flickers around constantly. Is it multiple personalities, or multiple eyes? The world may never know. We get that your character has white hair, it is shown on the model after all, but I guess without slipping that in you wouldn't have gotten to use 'smooth' 'flowing' and 'gentle waves' to round out your little poem, huh?

"She moves with the grace of a hunting cat's prowl."

I defy you to find any more stereotypically slutty character description.

"A short dagger is thrust in her belt. Although the blade appears to be stained by blood, the dagger gleams with the care of a loving hand. Her left hand spends most of it's time upon the dagger."

The Magic GothyKnife! It appears both bloody and clean, for the goth loser who wants her friends to think she's hardcore, but can't stand a rare steak. Yours today for only $19.95! Buy it now and start caressing it like the sex toy you'll undoubtedly use it as.

"Her unusually pale skin is covered with a near-invisible lacework of scars. Unless one is close, the scars are impossible to see."

Impossible to see, but important enough to mention in a physical description. This is to save time during cyber-sessions. "Run your hands over my body, strapping young Ken-doll. It feels like lace, a lace made out of scars. Oh woe is me, I'm so pained!"

"She holds her right wrist and left shoulder stiffly, and will occasionally rub one or the other as though they pain her. when idle, she often rubs the inside of her right wrist, or runs her fingers over the dagger in her belt. Both appear to be unconscious gestures. Very rarely, she'll touch the inside of her left forearm."

Watch me unconsciously touch myself, big boy! I'm pointing out all the little spots on my body you should pay extra attention to!

"If her gloves are off: A small black dagger-shaped scar or tattoo runs up the inside of her right wrist.

If her left forearm is bare: A small glowing tattoo almost seems to huddle near the crook of her elbow. It gives off a gentle golden light, and at time seems to writhe and change shape.

If her left shoulder is bare: A strange faint bruise.. no more than an eighth of an inch wide, runs all the way around the shoulder. It almost looks like someone used something dull to try and slice her arm off. It has the pale yellow-green color of an old, almost healed bruise."

Hey, check it out! A "Choose-Your-Own- Adventure" RSP description! Again, to save time during cyber-sessions, so when she's stripping for you, you know what to take notice of. There's the obligatory attempted-suicide wrist scar, the glowing demon tattoo that glows (it was so important she mentioned it twice!) And last but certainly not least, the "I was tortured recently, make me feel better about it!" almost-healed bruise.

Offenses
Contradictory Bullshit: 2
Slutty Feline Reference: 1
Redundant Description: 12
Waxing Poetic: 4
Visible Signs of Injury: 8

Score: "Have you signed up for my webcam site yet? Buy me something off my Amazon wishlist and you can see my panties!"