The Wandering Blade
I'm sure the title is supposed to be all emo and solitary, but it would be better suited to a tavern sign than a person.
If anyone ever introduced themselves to me as "The Wandering Blade", I'd probably laugh in their face and
ask if their mother knew what they were doing.
This man you see has calm features...
...despite walking around with such a ridiculous title. It must be tough keeping a straight face when
everyone's yelling "Hey, is your blade wandering? Well you better go catch it!" in your direction.
always wanders and sits...
...managing to do so by carrying a chair with him everywhere he goes. That way, the whole world is one big game
of musical chairs! Wander a bit, then whip out the chair and sit, then wander a bit more.
his long light blue hair sway in the breeze...
...thanks to a handy shoulder-mounted fan. Oh those crafty Gnomes, what will they think of next? It's the
shoulder-mounted EverBreeze 5600! Bring out the wistful emo inside you with this wonderful contraption that
makes your hair constantly sway as though some invisible force is brushing it back! Caution: hair, nose, lips, or
tongue may become caught in the device, causing it to explode. Not for use by pregnant women or people
who fear being set on fire. This device carries no warranty, express or implied. Use at your own risk.
he is a fighter and a lover...
...you know this because he constantly displays both qualities whenever someone else is around, hitting
people with his sword-like object while grabbing and kissing any random passers-by. Oftentimes he will do
both while wandering or sitting in his chair..
he searches for the right allys to protect and to serve.
"Help Wanted. Human and Elven women apply within."
As he defeats many foes..
...again, he is defeating many foes whenever someone looks at him, often picking barfights just to show you he can.
he has a calm side away from the bloodshed.
Is he bored, or simply using a farming bot to defeat those many foes? The world may never know...
This is Auredel Akheras known as "The Wandering blade'
We know this only because it happens to be sewn into the band of his underwear. Which happen to be inside
out. And, oddly enough, worn outside his pants.
Theme: Fury of the storm- DragonForce
Abusing the English Language: 17
Abusing the Ellipsis: 6
Spelling Allergy: 3
Contradictory Bullshit: 5
Theme Song: 1
Score: "I am... a mighty... warrior, but I... wander. I wander... because I'm alone. I'm so... alone I'm...
talking to myself. But... I.... am... a.......... warrior."