"A face of stone shows little or no emotion as you notice his transfixing blue eyes. His glare is piercing and judgmental as he examines everyone for signs of weakness or shadow magic."

So his face is blank except for the eyes that glare at everyone. I wonder, are they really glaring, or just straining to escape their plastic Barbie-doll head prison?

"An old scar runs down his face from his left cheek, across his nose and down to his right jaw bone. His hair is golden and shoulder length."

Look, it's the obligatory scar across his entire face that shows he's a seasoned warrior without managing to mar those chiseled good looks. Either that, or he was trying to play emo and managed to miss while trying to slit his own throat.

"If you hear him speak his voice is rather deep, but controlled in tone. When saying words such as "Light" and "Faith" you can hear a fire within him that alludes to a commanding and zealous nature. His voice varies from soft and calculated to very loud and demanding. Often he speaks as if preaching to a thousand faithful paladins."

I have a dream! A dream that one day we shall forsake our stereotypes and forswear our Old Elizabethan heritage! A dream that one day, paladins will not look out of place everywhere except revival meetings and renaissance faires! That we shall have personalities! And hobbies! I have a dream that paladins will one day have lives that involve more than spouting off self-righteous crap and pissing holy water on all passers-by! Brothers! Sisters! This is my dream!

"Senthroth speaks his mind with authority and conviction. His expression and tone always show his serious emotionless nature."

Live long and prosper, Humans of Earth.

"His features capture the heritage of the Senthroth clan line."

This is supposed to tell us something? Saying "he looks like his father" doesn't mean anything to those of us who don't know the man. This isn't so much a part of the physical description as a way of saying "Hey, look! I'm an arrogant dork with noble heritage!" FlagRSP specifically warns people to leave out details of a character's history, but egomania submits to no rules!

"Senthroth stands 6'2" with broad shoulders and a moderate muscular build."

"Upon his stark and simple black tabard there are ten medals..."

Stark and simple, except for those ten medals.

"...that show his many labors in the name of the Light ((http://www.caelestis-templares.com/ registratus.htm)). Four golden pins above the row of medals tell of his virtues."

Senth is the grandmaster of this guild from which he's won all the awards that are supposed to justify his being a pompous asshole. So basically, he made up a bunch of awards and gave them all to himself. That's like being such a loser that you have to put on a disguise, go to the trophy store and buy a trophy, then display it in your home and brag about it to your friends.

"On his right hip, looped onto a belt, is a black leather book case with gold thread adorning the trim."

Offenses
Bad Latin: 2
Contradictory Bullshit: 7
Pompous Jackass: 12
Godmodding: 4
Obligatory Scarring: 1
Web Address: 1
Paladin Stereotype: 15

Score: "Hello, my name is Senth. Have you thought about the Light today? Maybe I could leave you one of these informative pamphlets."