ecause there are always those in the bushel...


Ceridwyn Shar'Tall
"Swyft's pet"

You know that sinking feeling you get right before witnessing a train wreck? Whenever I see "Soandso's Pet" in someone's title, it gives me the same feeling. What is it about women, or men pretending to be women, that makes them feel the need to subjugate their identities to someone else's?

Oh, right, they're attention whores. Moving on...

"Ceridwyn appears to be young for a night elf and a little short than most."

Is it just me, or is "young and short" a common theme among sluts these days? I don't understand the attraction of pedophilia myself, but it's possible that Swyft is a priest or paladin or some other member of the clergy...

"She has long amethyst colored hair that seems to stretch down to waist."

Seems to? Is she confused about how long her hair is? What else could possibly be meant by "seems to" in regards to length? Does it contract and stretch at will? Is it an all-too-subtle hint that her hair is really an illusion spell? Or can you just not tell because it's always in her mouth?

"Most of the time you notice her wearing clothes that show off more then it should, even her battle gear doesn't leave much to the imagination."

Obligatory whore clothes. Since Blizzard was nice enough to put in the Lovely Colored Slut-suits, this doesn't really need to be in the description. Even without that, there's plenty of ways to dress up your character for circle jerk night at the LAN party.

"As you begin to look closely, you notice her wearing a black collar around her neck."

Obligatory bondage collar. Well, at least she's consistent in her theme.

"On the very front of the collar is a large D-ring hooked to it,"

In case you missed the fact that it's a bondage collar. This is the slightly more subtle version of "The collar has a leash attached to the front which trails behind her as she moves. It's the only clothing she wears."

"...and a silver letter "S" sewen[sic] onto either side of the ring."

I'm just going to assume that's S for Swyft, because I'm sure the truth is far scarier. Like Swyft alphabetizing his harem by preference. Let's see, that would make Ceridwyn number... LA LA LA I'M NOT THINKING ABOUT THAT ANYMORE!

Offenses
Abusing the English Language: 4
Obvious Slut: 8
Obligatory Bondage Gear: 1

Score: "Heh heh *snerk* Check out the elf toon I made to be my main's sextoy! She's like all dancing and shit. Man that's so hot. I wish I wasn't so lonely..."



Diary of a Planeswalker is a fantasy comic created and owned by Anya Talisan and Jacob Matthew,
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